Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
