it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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