I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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