Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
