Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
there was a trapeze. enough said
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
