sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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