Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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