I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
