just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
