What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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