I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
