P.S. I can't hear my feet
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
