She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
