OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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