i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
