Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
