You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
