As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
