Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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