She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
