I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
