She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
