It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
