If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
