Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
