you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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