If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
