This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
