he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
