If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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