it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
