Say something about gay babies.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
