Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
