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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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