I will die if light touches me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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