if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
