hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
