where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
