What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
