Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
