So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
