We're facebook friends in real life
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
