Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
