Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
