are you so shy because you have an std?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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