Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
