My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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