he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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