I just saw a hot homeless man
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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