Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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