all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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