Christians are straight up FREAKS
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
